The Algorithm Made Me: How Social Media Shapes Who We Think We Are
At some point, we stopped just using social media — and it started using us.
We logged on to connect, to share, to be seen. But somewhere in that stream of likes, follows, recommendations, and endless scrolls, a quieter transformation took place. Not just in what we believe, but in who we think we are.
It’s not just about what we consume online — it’s about what the algorithm keeps feeding us until we mistake it for ourselves.
The Personalized Self
The algorithm learns quickly:
- You pause on a video about anxiety? Here’s more mental health content.
- You liked one post about masculinity? Here comes the pipeline.
- You shared a story about injustice? Let’s flood your feed with more outrage.
At first, it feels helpful — personalized.
But before long, you’re no longer curating your identity. The algorithm is.
The topics you see, the tones you absorb, the groups you’re nudged toward — all of it creates a feedback loop. A self-reinforcing image of who you are, what you care about, and what side you’re on. And the more it feeds you that version of yourself, the more you act like it.
The result? An identity that feels organic, but is actually cultivated.
Algorithmic Identity ≠ Algorithmic Belief
This goes deeper than belief.
Yes, the algorithm influences what we believe. That’s been studied to death. But more subtle — and more haunting — is how it shapes our sense of self.
- Are you a wellness person or a doomscroller?
- Are you a truth-teller, a skeptic, a healer, a shitposter?
- Do you think of yourself as someone who “just asks questions”? Or someone who “fights misinformation”?
- Are you the kind of person who claps back in the comments? Or the one who retreats into curated quiet?
The platform has a role in how you answer that. Not just because of the content it shows you — but because of the role it teaches you to play.
You become what you perform.
And you perform what gets rewarded.
The New Baptism: Engagement
In traditional religions, rituals and sacraments shape the believer — giving form to their identity through repeated actions: kneeling, fasting, confession, prayer.
Now? It’s scrolling. Sharing. Liking. Commenting.
The ritual of engagement is the belief system.
But instead of connecting you to something greater, the algorithm connects you to a version of yourself that it predicts will keep clicking.
It’s not trying to shape your highest self. It’s trying to shape your stickiest self.
And when that predicted identity gets reinforced often enough, it starts to feel like truth. Not because it is true — but because it’s always there.
Manufactured Authenticity
The irony is that we feel more “ourselves” than ever.
We have aesthetic labels. Memes that “get us.”
A community of people who think the way we think — or hate the way we hate.
But if you dig deep, the authenticity starts to peel.
You realize:
- You didn’t discover that opinion — it was served to you.
- You didn’t choose that vibe — it was suggested.
- You didn’t create that version of you — it was incentivized.
And this doesn’t mean you’re fake. It means you’re human — and that algorithms are better at shaping humans than we ever expected.
What Now?
We can’t escape the algorithm completely. But we can stop letting it tell us who we are.
- Turn off autoplay.
- Follow accounts that confuse your feed.
- Say “no” to the next suggestion.
- Pause before you post something just because you know it’ll get attention.
And most importantly, ask yourself:
Is this who I am? Or who I’ve been trained to be?
Because somewhere beneath the algorithmically sculpted identity is a quieter self — a self that isn’t just a reaction, or a brand, or a data point.
A self that doesn’t need to perform to be real.