Why People Hold Onto Lies (Even When They Hurt Them)
It’s one of the most puzzling human behaviors: people clinging to beliefs that clearly harm them. We see it in politics, in religion, in family traditions, even in personal relationships. From the outside, it seems irrational — why would anyone defend a lie that limits their freedom, drains their resources, or fuels their suffering?
The answer lies in psychology. Lies often survive not because they’re persuasive, but because they’re comforting.
Fear is the first driver. Lies promise safety in a chaotic world. They give us simple answers when reality feels overwhelming. Accepting the truth can mean facing uncertainty — about our future, our place in the world, even the reliability of people we trusted. Fear makes the lie feel safer than the truth.
Identity is the second. Lies become woven into who we think we are. If your community, family, or peer group shares a belief, rejecting it can feel like rejecting yourself. It risks exile, loneliness, and the painful work of reinventing your sense of self. For many, the cost of honesty feels greater than the cost of self-deception.
And then there’s the comfort of certainty. Our brains crave predictability. Lies offer clear rules and easy categories, while the truth is often messy and unresolved. Certainty feels like a warm blanket — even if it’s suffocating.
Recognizing these forces doesn’t excuse harmful beliefs, but it does explain their resilience. People hold onto lies because lies shield them from fear, protect their identity, and satisfy their craving for certainty.
The challenge is helping each other move from false comfort to real courage — to face truths that may be hard, but also freeing. Because when lies no longer serve us, the truth becomes the only path to healing.